It’s brutal to wake up to the idea JWs are a cult when you’re still stuck at home with parents who think the Governing Body are God’s besties. But you’re not crazy, and you’re definitely not alone. Tons of us have been where you are, and while you might feel trapped right now, there are ways to survive—and to quietly start preparing for freedom later.
Why You Feel Different
That feeling of “wait, this doesn’t make sense”? That’s what happens when you start thinking for yourself. You might feel a little crazy because nobody else acts like they can see what’s going on. It’s a side effect of gaslighting. It’s also why you might feel suddenly out of place, like you don’t belong anywhere. That’s normal. It does get better with time, but you’ll likely feel sort of alien for a while.
Keep Your Thoughts to Yourself
Trying to wake up your family at this point seldom goes well. Being in the JWs isn’t a rational decision. It’s an emotional one. So logical arguments don’t usually work. They’ll think you’ve been “influenced by Satan” and immediately demand to know if you’ve been looking at “apostate sites.” It can get ugly, fast and if you blow your cover, you can lose most of the already limited freedom you have.
For now, play it cool. Go along with things when you have to, keep your opinions to yourself, and avoid getting baptized if you can.
You can still keep doing your own research, though. Sites like jwfacts.com are full of information, but only check it out when you can safely (and delete your browser history). There will be time to share if you choose to later. But while you are living at home, keeping yourself sane is your top priority.
Free Your Mind
Even if you’re stuck at meetings or going door-to-door, you can still start freeing your mind. That voice in your head saying, “Don’t disappoint Jehovah,” or “Armageddon’s coming to get you”? That’s the programming talking. It’s not real—it’s guilt, control, and fear, dressed up as religion.
Start noticing the manipulation. The fear mongering. The logical inconsistencies. This helps you think more clearly even while you’re still stuck in the middle of all the toxic programming.
Of course they will continue to warn you off apostates. All that means is someone who has left their former faith. The real truth about apostates: we are people, just like you. We were once where you were. The minute you start digging outside the Watchtower, you’ll see the lies for yourself. That’s why they try so hard to scare out off of looking: they know where it leads. Out the door.
Small Steps Toward Independence
You may be too young to leave right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start preparing. Quietly, without anybody noticing. If you can, find ways to earn some money—babysitting, yard work, odd jobs. Even a little extra saved away gives you more options later. This is your freedom fund.
And if you’re in public school, take it seriously. Good grades can mean scholarships. That might feel far off now, but it’s worth working toward.
If you’ve been forced to cut off “worldly” friends, wait a while and see if you can quietly reconnect. Let them know it wasn’t your choice to ghost them—your parents are just in a crazy, culty religion. Most will understand.
When you’re ready to take bigger steps—like getting a job, saving for a car, or planning your next move—check out this guide for planning your escape.
There’s No Rush
You don’t have to figure out your whole life today. Right now, your job is to keep yourself safe, start seeing things clearly, and survive with your sanity intact. Every little step you take—questioning, observing, planning—gets you closer to the life you want.
Everything they’ve taught you? Question it. Break it apart. Does it actually make sense, or is it just fear and guilt wrapped in a Bible verse?
Question everything. Truth withstands scrutiny. Lies fall apart.
You’re Not Alone
I know it feels lonely, but you’re ahead of the game. You’re waking up now, while most of us were still drinking the Kool-Aid at your age. That’s huge! We have been where you are and found a way out. You will, too.
Take your time, free your mind, and don’t let anyone tell you that questioning this nonsense means you’re broken. You’re not crazy. You’re just waking up. And that’s the first step to living a free life.
You’ll get there. And we’re cheering you on!
